As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a Mommy. I dreamed of having a big family. Heath and I always joked around that we were going to have our own baseball team. We both love children and planned on having many. I was that girl who started naming my children before I was ever pregnant with them. I had lists and was very protective of "my names." Having children has always been in my life plan.
In 2008 I had Ava Reese. I was young. Very young. I had just put my last semester of college on hold. All I had left was my internship. Since AR came in October and my internship wouldn't allow for a maternity leave, I chose to take the semester off and start my student teaching the next semester. My last class before AR was born ended in August. Therefore, I had the remaining month of August and all of September to get ready for AR. She arrived on the first day of October and I was blessed to be able to spend 3 full months with her before starting back to school.
Those 3 months were my "stay at home Mom" months. I adored being able to spend day in and day out at home with my new baby while learning how to be a Mommy. She taught me more about myself in those 3 short months than I had learned in a life time. One of the things I learned during that time was having a big family was no longer something we wanted. AR was a hard baby. Definitely one more baby but a baseball team was out of the question. Another thing I learned was the title SAHM was not for me.
Just days before Christmas, I received my student teacher placement. To say I was giddy is an understatement. I couldn't wait to get back in the classroom and back to the profession I loved. So when AR was 3 months old, I went back to finish school. I know several people had doubts that I would finish. Honestly, I always knew I would go back. Graduating with a degree in Education was a goal... a dream that I knew I would not let go. I finished my last semester of college, walked across the stage to receive my diploma, and accepted a full time teaching position within a month of each other and never once did I ever consider just staying at home.
Does it make me a terrible person for not wanting to spend my days at home with my children?
I have honestly asked myself this question. Some people would do anything to stay at home so why don't I feel the same? Honestly, I just feel like I need my own time. I feel like I am a much better Mommy when I can step into another title for a few hours during the day and then step back into the Mommy role in the afternoons. By better I mean that I tend to be more compassionate, appreciative, and hands on.
Am I exhausted in the afternoon? Absolutely!
Are there some night I actually look forward to bedtime? Guilty!
But it's a way of life I choose and it works for our family. Thankfully, Heath's Aunt stepped in when I was pregnant with Westin. I had Westin in the middle of July and chose to start back to work when the school year started back instead of taking a short maternity leave. That meant Westin would be 4 weeks old when I started back and if it hadn't been for Aunt Sa-Sa, I probably wouldn't have been able to go back as I had planned. She offered and still comes to our house every morning to either keep the kids at our house or let them sleep in and then takes them to her house. She does doctors appointments, play dates, and over time. She is amazing. She makes being a working mom much easier for me.
Since I am a teacher, I am very flexible after 3:15. If need be, I can get the kids by 3:30. Usually I pick them up around 4:30. When the weather is nice we play, play, play until Heath gets home at 5:30. Once he gets home, let the night time chores begin. Dinner, bath, and bed... We are usually successful at having both children in bed and asleep by 8:00.
Summertime: Another perk of being a teacher are my summer breaks. I am officially a paid SAHM for 2.5 months of every year and it is fabulous. However, by August, I am usually ready to get back in the classroom.
I love my children and I love my job...and with a little help it all stays balanced.
I am linking up with Kelly over at Kelly's Korner so check out lots of other working moms!
4 comments:
great post!! i have always wanted to teach kindergarten but never finished my basics because of having caden and working. i have thought about going back but not sure still. i can tell you do a great job at both!!
Your family is adorable!
I definitely have asked myself those same exact questions when I returned to work after my maternity leave. No SAHM in me. I enjoy work to much and that little time away makes me enjoy the time together so much more...keeps my hair planted in my head too. lol It's what works. I used to feel guilty about leaving him especially when he was a baby...but I know he's having so much fun at school and wants to go that it doesn't hurt as bad now. But I look forward to pickup times, just seeing that face light up like he hasn't seen me in days makes me smile from ear to ear.
wow! Your kids are certainly marked! I am jealous that you got one that looks like you and so did Dad! Both of mine look more like their Dad than me...and I did the carrying and laboring! ahhaha
(and hi, came over from Kelly's Korner)
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